I’m Jennifer, and this is my family: Dennis and Little J. We live north of San Francisco in a charming city I like to call Sugartown. We moved here three years ago from the Big City. We were excited to put down roots and be a part of a community. A few months later, I was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. We were shocked, to say the least, but got through it with our love for each other, a lot of love and support from our family and friends, and a lot of prayers being answered.
After enjoying a year of remission and the new sweetness of life that comes along with having nearly lost it, the C came back. But we fought again, as a family, as a community, and continued to enjoy the nectar of the everyday. It is possible, you know, to live a fully embodied life while fighting cancer. I can honestly say, it is almost easier.
After last summer’s fight, I got a three month remission, but then it came back. I’m now on a constant low-dose of weekly chemo that is keeping the disease away while I try to live a full life with the family and friends that I love. Update: The weekly low-dose of chemo stopped working mid-summer, a week before Little J’s sixth birthday. So, I’m taking a daily dose of Cytoxin and Avastin every three weeks. Keep praying this works, friends and readers. Same thing. xoxo
Fourseeds is a place for me to share the things I love about this life that leads me. The title Four Seeds comes from the story of Persephone.
Enjoy and please leave comments if you wish.
Hugs,
Jennifer
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What a beaaaauuutiiiifuuuulll family! NIIIICE!
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I stumbled upon your blog on accident, your passion for life is very touching to me. I admire your strength and determination to fight cancer and wish you and your family the best.
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thanks for your kind words. so happy you have found fourseeds have you seen nieniedialogues.comm
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Hi Jennifer:
Just discovered your blog (thanks for putting me on your ‘roll, BTW) – so sorry to have to meet you for this reason, but glad you’re out there! Your family is lovely and I hope you finish chemo strong. Keep your chin up and enjoy remission!
Sarah
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Hi Jennifer,
It has been a long time since we have crossed paths…I’m a friend of Mari’s and think the last time I saw you was at a XMAS party at Julie’s house when my first child was just a baby…many, many years ago
I followed a link from Mari today and wanted to say how much I am enjoying your stories, wisdom, humor, sage advice, etc….you have a beautiful family.
And I wanted to second the Hallelujah regarding your post today about the MORAB…such wonderful news.
Take care,
Kim
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Hi Kim,
I remember meeting you. It was at Mari’s (30 th?) bday party at Julie’s house. Mari came to the door with your baby daughter in her arms. She nibbled melba toast all night and charmed us all. Your baby, not Mari. She charms without nibbling melba toast.
Thanks so much for visiting me in the blogosphere. I hope to see you in the real world sometime again.
Jenn
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Good Morning Jennifer,
Found you this morning while sitting on my couch watching the rain drops fall. I am a few hundred miles north of you. We, my husband John…kids Dylan and Iris are out in the world, live on 20 acres of land 8 miles inland from Newport, Oregon. sometimes this place makes us crazy but mostly we love the beauty it brings to our lives.
I am currently doing chemo for my 7th recurrence of breast cancer. First diagnosis was Halloween 2000 and yes I like my anniversary date :*) I still work as a chef in newport and continue to have a life with cancer, although sometimes it can be trying….
I fell in love with your story about singing on your swing. When my son Dylan was 3 he swung to Princes’ purple rain. Music has always been a big part of my life and a huge part of my healing. On bad days, I turn up the music put my high heels on, pull up my sweat pants and strut my stuff to the beat. It can be the best medicine ever. Laughing is good too and if I catch myself in the mirror I can laugh a good while.
My blessings are with you and your family for good news only. I know we live in a place where numbers define us and my wish for you is itty bitty numbers.
my day is brighter because of your blog, lorell
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Thank you so much for this comment, Lorell. I read it today while I was getting chemo, and it brought tears to my eyes. This post was the hardest for me to write because I allowed myself to be more vulnerable than normal, and because I wrote about something that for me is so hard to describe.
I’m rooting for your in your fight. I’m picturing you in your pulled-up sweat pants and high heels. And I’m smiling. You made my day brighter, too.
Hugs,
Jennifer -
Jennifer,
I stumbled upon your blog accidentally (or serendipitously depending on your point of view). You are a remarkably beautiful woman. I enjoy reading your posts and will keep you and your lovely family in my thoughts.
Amber
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Jennifer,
I have been stuck in a morass of self pity as MS has taken so much of what I considered important in my life – my relationship with my children, my career, my financial security and, someday soon, my beloved home. I have been trying to refocus on my spirituality and literally just finished praying “Help me to learn what is important in life…” and I found your blog.
I am so touched and inspired and humbled by your courage. Thank you for sharing your journey.
You and your beautiful family are in my prayers.
Marie
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Marie,
Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I’m inspired by your courage too! I’ll keep you in my prayers.Jennifer
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Hi Jennifer,
I just stumbled upon your site and I wanted to say how much I admire you and your courage.
I don’t know if you would find this helpful or not, but I was wondering if you had tried energy healing. I would not have thought something like that could work, but recent events in my life have changed my world view on that.
I don’t have cancer, but I do have scoliosis. I had tried everything to correct it in my life, including back braces and chiropractor, rolfing, exercises, stretching, power of positive thinking. I have been able to ease the pain but never “cure” the problem.
However, one of my rolfers suggested that I try to heal my body through my energy. I suppose, through my soul. I never would have thought that could work. My path eventually led me to a shaman, somewhere I never thought I would end up, and I had an amazing healing experience with her. I have to say I am surprised by the changes in my body. My spine is correcting itself. I feel stronger, more connected to the earth and everything else around me.
Even if energy healing from a shaman doesn’t cure me completely, I feel more alive and pain free than I have in decades…
Sincerely,
Jeanette -
Hi Jeanette, I’m so glad you stumbled upon the site. Biggest hugs to you and well-wishes for your journey. I can only say that that, the harder this struggle gets, the tinier the things I find to be grateful for. There are gifts at every turn.
Jenn
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