Time to Breathe


Doc G. rarely shows emotion, so we were pleased when he beamed and said, “You’re scan is totally clean. It’s as good as good news can get.” Hooray.

When we got to my blood work, his glow turned to curiosity. My CA-125 is suddenly at 19, up from 3 in December. “It’s not an insignificant jump,” he said.

The CA-125 is a marker that (among other things) tells us whether we should be worried. Though “normal” is anything under 35, oncologists like to keep it in the single digits for people with a history of the Real O.C.

We knew mine wouldn’t stay at 3 forever. In fact, it was pretty unusual for it to have stayed so low for so long. We all expected it to bounce to 6 or 9 at some point, and we’ve been preparing ourselves mentally for that. But 19 is a little hard to take.

Doc G assures us that he’s seen survivors bounce that high due other things: inflammation somewhere in the body, diverticulitis, infection. The plan is to test again in two weeks to see if it has gone back down.

We don’t ask him what happens if it hasn’t. We are not going there.

My first semester in college, I got three A’s and an A-. I made the Dean’s List. My parents were ecstatic. But I just focused on that A- and asked myself over and over again how I could not have gotten an A in that one class (whatever it was).  I’m not that person anymore. I’m focusing on the clean scan and all the amazingly beautiful things I have to be healthy for.

Have a gorgeous day.

Hugs and smooches,


  1. Terre’s avatar

    Three As and a clean scan –I’m remembering those details, Jennifer–yes! Enjoy this gorgeous day. Hugs!

  2. ronnie’s avatar

    Bravo for channeling your perfectionism in such a healthy direction. You’re setting such a wonderful example for all of us. I’m still firmly entrenched in the upside, right along with you. Hugs … rj

  3. Jennifer’s avatar

    Thanks Terre and Ronnie,

    Biggest hugs to you.


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