December 2012

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I hope this finds you well and that this season has been bright for you. Little J has been diligently indulging in all of the holiday to-dos and little details: helping put the lights on the house, picking the best tree, making a gingerbread house, singing carols, wearing his elf hat… Each morning I wake to the sound of him getting out of bed, turning on the tree lights, changing the countdown-to-Xmas calendar, getting the day’s pieces out of the Lego Star Wars Advent calendar, letting the dog out and the cat in, and then crawling in bed with me to build the Legos and let me know how many days there are left until Christmas. We are well.

I wasn’t sure what to expect this season, this year. This time of year can feel bleak and dreary in a good year. But to see Little J going about his holiday chores and looking so forward to the family coming over, to singing at the retirement home, and to Christmas morning… there is so much hope. There is light.


Back in June, I wrote that although I would leave this site up, I wouldn’t continue to post on Four Seeds because this blog was really all Jennifer. However, there is a story I wanted to share with you.

My colleague Amy came into my office the other day with something she had to tell me. She closed the door and sat down. Amy explained that over the weekend she had gone to see an author speak about her book on death as a natural part of life. This author was also a medium, and as Amy waited in line to meet and say thank you to the author, she noticed that the author was doing quick readings for people. When it was her turn, Amy shook the author’s hand and introduced herself. The author looked at Amy and said:

“Oh, Amy, I see a woman who is young but sick. Skinny with really short hair, she is very sick. Actually, now the woman is beautiful. Her hair is still short-ish and very cute. She has a huge smile and is almost glowing. She is so beautiful. And she is clutching a little boy. She is pointing to the sick woman. She is trying to pass on a message. She wants the little boy to know that she is not sick anymore. That she is beautiful and happy and not sick. She really wants the boy to know this.”

Amy told me all of this a bit nervous about what I would think, but at the end confidently said, “so I am passing this message on to you so you can pass it on to Little J.”

I’m not sure how you feel about mediums (I’m not sure how I feel about them), but this story brought me a lot of peace. I am so glad that Amy shared it with me. I’m sharing it with you because I believe that Jennifer’s message, though directed first toward Little J, is for all of us.

Little J and I did talk about Mom not being sick anymore, and we’ve been looking at pictures of Jennifer pretty much every evening since. We talk about how beautiful she is, her great smile, her laugh, all the fun things we did together, and the silly things she used to say.

Wishing you Peace, Hope and Light, this season and through the New Year.